I don’t even know how to start this post. *sigh* I’m slightly drunk (went to sleep and woke back up, not able to sleep after an odd night and more than a few Corona/Jack combos) and somewhat depressed…and I think I’m just going to vent.

Yes, women of DC, I’m talking to you. I was raised a “Southern Gentleman.”…but without all the misogynistic tendencies. Just because I didn’t bang your uterus inside out tonight doesn’t mean I don’t want to later. I just have a rule: I NEVER sleep with a woman on the first date. Hell, it’s rare if I sleep with a woman on the second date. It’s just how I am. Let me explain.

I’m not out there just to bang all the girls I meet up with. (And I will type this part in all caps) I WANT A GIRLFRIEND! I don’t want a fuck buddy or a FWB (been there, done that). I want a woman with whom I can share my life. I want a woman who thinks I’m funny and interesting, even if I’m a bit of a paradox. (And believe me, I’m a walking paradox.)

No, I’m not adverse to sex. Hell, my libido has been on nitro-boosted overdrive lately. But, that still doesn’t mean that I will compromise my values. I’m simply an old-fashioned guy when it comes to some things.

Let’s take a girl I met tonight as an example: she is HOT. I mean scalding water on a cat HOT. Not my “perfect” woman…but damned close. The only thing she lacks to make her my “perfect woman” is red hair. She’s got everything else…to a T.

ANYway. We were talking tonight (I don’t even remember how the conversation got started) and she was blowing my mind. We had so much in common that it wasn’t EVEN funny. We even showed each other (most of our) tattoos. She absolutely loved my “kama sutra” tattoo. The talk turned sexual and we shared many a detail about our sexualities. Things seemed to click all over the place. Then she invited me back to her place (which is near the bar). That’s where things went wrong.

Like I said: I’m not a virgin and I’m not a prude. Hell, I will do things for/to a woman that will make her dead ancestors blush…but not on the first date. Yes, I ended up going back to the girls’ place (she has a roommate) and chilling and having a glass of wine. We talked for a little bit and things seemed to be going well…and then she attacked.

Now, when I say “attacked,” I mean “she attacked me like a face-sucker from the movie Alien.” Not that I mind, though. To me, the absolute best foreplay is kissing. I’ve made it a point to be the Renaissance artist of kissing (yes, ladies, I’m that good) and it’s one thing that I love to do and can do for hours (not counting *ahem* other things I can do with my mouth and tongue). That said: this girl was an amazing kisser. She was divine…and aggressive, which I like as well. But, she was a little TOO aggressive. After a bit of this, it was obvious that I was lined up to get my brains fucked out tonight.

Like I said: I LOVE sex in all its myriad shapes and forms. Women are the most beautiful creatures on the Earth and I love to please them…but not until I get to KNOW them.

This girl was the proverbial octopus. She had her hand down my pants…up my shirt…Hell, in places it shouldn’t be unless we’ve been dating a while…or possibly even be married. Part of me (the “horn-dog guy part”) was like “HELL YEAH! It’s been a WHILE (and by a while, I mean I’ve not gotten laid since last Christmas *UGH*). Let’s ROCK this girlie!” While the other part of me…the “Southern Gentleman” part was like “damn, she’s hot and she’s diggin’ me…but I wish she would chill a little.”

Needless to say, after about 20 minutes of VERY hot kissing and groping, I had to stave things off. I broke off the kiss and told her that, in no uncertain terms, I don’t bang women on the first date. She looked at me as if I was from another universe, much less another planet. After some incredulous looks and some stuttering, she went through the whole tirade about “what?!? Am I ugly? Fat? Not hot enough? Did I do something wrong?” and just about every other question in the book. It took me a good 10 minutes of calming her down and talking to her to make her realize that…yes, I DO think she’s hotter than a Bentley in SE DC and I would LOVE to make her forget every other guy she’s ever been involved with…but I want a woman who wants to be with ME…and not just for tonight.

Is that so hard to accept, ladies? I’m not a “pump her and dump her” kind of guy. I want someone for the long haul. I want a woman that I can share my dreams and fears with…not a woman I can share just one night with, no matter how hot a night it promises to be. Honestly, I’ve been there and done that way too many times and it’s just not what I want, now.

Anyway, after a bit of talking (and a little more kissing…DAMN this girl could kiss), I decided to walk home and get some ZZZs. I guess she understood my decision (or just thought I was hot and wanted to make sure she could get a piece of me later) because she let me go, but asked for my phone number before I left. That one thing gives me a little hope for the future.

This all brings me back to my initial question: ladies, does it freak you out or turn you off if a guy turns you down for first-night fucking? (Pardon my French.) I know it’s hard to believe, but some of us guys really WANT a LTR. We want someone that we can spend time with, have fun with, share our lives with…and yes…someone that will let us rock their world in such a way that they will never dream of anyone else. But, we want to get to KNOW them first. We’re looking for someone that will give us impetus to make that morning run…Hell, someone that will make that morning run with us. Motivation is a good thing. We want someone that turns us “metrosexual” (no, not full-blown…just someone that makes us want to trim our nose hair and make sure our clothes are ironed) when we go to see them.

Maybe I’m just too old-fashioned for this town…or maybe there are so many jerks up here that “nice” guys like me get run over like a bike messenger trying to cut across 495. I don’t know.

What I do know is: no matter what, I will never, ever compromise my ideals and self-worth/esteem JUST to get laid. Maybe, one day, I’ll find a woman that appreciates that fact. Hopefully, it won’t take 10 years to find her.

UPDATE: I’ve gotten a few emails that pointed out something I hadn’t really considered: apparently, I’m a tease. WTF? I hadn’t even thought about it that way. To me, I’m just an open and honest person. I don’t mind talking about sex or much of anything else. I had no idea that I was “sending mixed signals” about what I wanted. To me, we were just having a good, fun, if somewhat racy, conversation.

Now I feel like an ass and a jerk…which I in no way intended to be. I didn’t get her number but she got mine. I hope she calls so I can reassure her that I *am* interested, I’m just not going to jump right into bed with her.